I'm not going to lose to...

...these pussy-ass little fuckers (a.k.a. Erik's team).

The Lard Ends will saturate you.

Troubadours, XI

Fuck you, at least I'm getting one up relatively on time this week. I love having a Thursday night game, but three days between games is brutal for this. Regardless, this one goes out to the West Indian Wendigos, the fightin'est bunch of savages to ever be conquered by a team that wishes it was an imperial power. It's sung to the Louvin Brothers' bizarre "Great Atomic Power." Troubadours fucking rule and, though you already know this, the rest of you fucking suck bags of cocks.

Do you fear your master team
That they call the Troubadours
Will you cower like a feeb
Will your face just hit the floor?

The brutality of destruction
I will rain upon your lands
Will dwarf your execution
And the blood upon my hands

Are you ready
For those Lonestar Troubadours
Can you stand to see your people turned to slaves?
Your sticks and stones are cute
But I'll fuck you 'til you're mute
Are you ready for the Lonestar Troubadours?

Cthulhu Image of the Weekend

Well, it's hard to beat the Cthulhu Family Circus, but I thought this was pretty cool.

Desperately need a win this week or it's pretty much over for me.

Damn! KRs Rule

Leon Washington is a Bad. Ass.

Dude gave me 30 points!

As a special bonus here is his girlfriend:
Because, hey, why not. It's Friday and I just finished a week of comps. So, uh, take that, or something.

Drunken Grid Iron Hero X

Cthulhu Image, Mid-week Edition

Don't forget to set'cha rosters! Thursday game tomorrow.

Whoo! Favre vs. Brad...er, Cassel.

Don't forget to stare into the abyss of the Elder God!

(image found here.)

Boldin

Just for the record, I'd like to say how much I hate Anquan Boldin today.

I also hate Jacob as well. And all of his players.

Fuck all of them.

It's official.

The Christian God is the One True and Holy God.

Join him, St. Warner, and Jesus, or be forever damned to Hell with me and PRivers.

God fucking damn it.

Meet your new Trinity.

Troubadours X

All apologies to Bob for not getting his song up in time; my week long euphoria over having sole possession of first took precedent over any other responsibilities. To make up for this injustice, I have a mid-game conciliatory song, sung to the tune of Townes Van Zandts’ “White Freightliner Blues.” Not that I have any experience with this, but I hear that in times of trouble—such as when you are losing—it’s best to sing a song. Lucky for you, I have one all lined up. Fuck you all…two games in the lead and I continue to rule….

The game’s all but wrapped up now
And I’ll continue my first place fame
The game’s all but wrapped up now
I’ll continue my first place fame
Austin Azathoth won’t find a way to steal this game

Well, the lead in wasn’t bad, Lord
When I saw the score I almost came
The lead in wasn’t bad and, Lord
When I saw the score I almost came
Austin Azathoth: A team that’s real fucking lame.

Patrick Willis could save you
But the man’s been rendered tame
Patrick Willis might have saved you
Had I not turned the man tame
By slicing off his cock, Lord, and feeding him the goddamned same

Well the game’s almost over, Bob
And your efforts have been in vain
The game is almost over Bob
Your efforts are all in vain
Now Austin Azathoth can feel the limits of his shame.

I For One Welcome Our New Chocolatier Overlords

Fucking hell. I go from upending the top-scoring, then-league-leading Scofflaws to (barring a ~30 pt performance from Larry Fitzgerald tonight - not impossible, but none too likely, either) giving the Hershey Highwaymen their first win!??!

Clearly this is the beginning of a new era in hell of passive fantasy footballdom, and Aaron's team is the team of destiny. I recommend that all of you jump on the HH bandwagon as I am doing, lest you be caught on the wrong side of history.

Hosed

God fucking dammit. I had a great week and got hosed. By this little kid (aka Daryl).

Could it be?

The Dipsos trail the surging Lard Ends by 41.22 points. Luckily, the Dipsos have the Christ-powered arm of Kurt "Pious Pete" Warner. Unluckily (for the Dipsos), the Lard Ends also have starting running back Tim "I have the same name as that guy from Police Academy" Hightower.

(insert the theme song to the television series "Soap" here)

Will the existence of the Christian God be proven by Hightower breaking a leg and Warner throwing for 3 TD's and 450 yards? Or will the fat fuckers from the Inland Empire surge ahead to yet another win? Are the players on Erik's team truly discursively white, or are they just really, really frightened?

Far Better Cthulhu Image of the Week

The faceless Elder God Nyarlathotep awaits the...Troubadours? Heh. Troubadours.

Drunken Grid Iron Hero IX

Drunken Grid Iron Hero is having QB drama this week...Our starter, Kyle "Drinky" Orton is injured and may not be able to drink to his full potential...So in comes Rex "Handle O' Cheap Gin" Grossman. Can Rex really put it away like Kyle? Will Rex finally get in the game again and then get a bad case of gag reflex and start spitting his liquor back up right when we need him? Well, the picture clearly illustrates that Kyle has already puked on himself, so we have no choice but to go with Rex.

Obligitory Cthulhu Image of the Week...Early

Now with more skulls!

Watch Out Bitches!

It's about my team started to play like the discursively whitened football studs they are.

Torn

Kicking the shit out of Rob is real nice.

On the other hand, it puts Daryl in first place, which nobody wants.

I guess you have to take the good with the bad sometimes.

I'm also wondering why I am 2-0 against the 2 top teams and 3-4 against everyone else.

What do these three statements have in common?

"I'm very, very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing ... any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that."




"Our economy, I think, is still ― the fundamentals of our economy are strong."




"That 'longest active winning streak' is about to get snapped this week, motherfucker."

Not unless LaMarr Woodley can somehow score 34.64 points tonight.
You've been greased, my tropical clime-dwelling friend, you've been greased.

Tomorrow's Menu: Cerveza Carta Blanca

Why are they all wet? Oh, right...

Cthulhu Image of the Week

Welp, I'm having both Loomississsis and the Eckber down for the games tomorrow, so I figured I'd eat their sanity. And maybe drink some beers or something.