Troubadours, III

This one goes out to the Dallas Dipsos, and is sung to Marty Robbins' Big Iron. I like this video more than any others, though the song is incomplete, because of '70s mustaches and '70s NASCAR. GO CARS! This week is especially great because I'll be the last undefeated team. GO BRONCOS!

Well, I’m talkin’ about the Dipsos before their Week 3 loss
The Troubadours will crush them and nail them to a cross
This pathetic little franchise, they’re puny weak-kneed pricks
And I’m gonna bend them over with a spiked ring on my dick.
Spiked ring on my dick.

You know just what the Dipsos might say in such a case:
“Please get me fuckin’ plastered; please don’t spray it on my face!”
I cackle at his asking, push him down and lay some kicks
Then I get on down to business with a spiked ring on my dick
Spiked ring on my dick.

If you’d just relax a little, it wouldn’t hurt so goddamned bad
The feeling shouldn’t shock you, just pretend that I’m your dad
He may be much more loving but these spikes are like his sores
Building back those calluses you got when you were four
Got when you were four.

Now my story’s finally finished, poor Jon is sleeping sound
When football is all over, the Dipsos pounded in the ground
They’re walking kind of funny; they look a little sick
Living with the memory of that spiked ring on my dick
Spiked ring on my dick.