NFL Tweets Of The Week Sept. 12

For our first installment of tweets of the week let's take a look at Donte Stallworth and Nick Barnett.

You all know Donte from an unfortunate incident this year. Expect to hear more about that in the forthcoming Criminal Gridiron Hero, the sequel to last year's Drunken Gridiron Hero. Donte is going to have plenty of time this season to watch movies. Let's follow along as he discovers 'The Usual Suspects' for the first time.

Don't laugh @ me but i'm watching the movie USUAL SUSPECTS..... for the 1st time!!! LOL

D_Stallworth18 Couldn't help but notice the beautiful shot of the towers after they jacked the "NYPD taxi service" incident :-/

D_Stallworth18 Ok, this Kaiser Soze character is becoming real interesting!!! Hmmm...

D_Stallworth18 Aaaaaww man they off'd my dude Fenster... DAMN!!!

D_Stallworth18 OMG!!! why am I just now watching this movie for 1st time... Verbel leaving police station now... This is movie is CRAZY

D_Stallworth18 WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!! WTH!!!!!! U gotta be kidding me right?!? WOW I gotta watch that AGAIN... & AGAIN!!! that's crazy...

Yes Donte, it's crazy alright.

Now on to Nick Barnett, linebacker for the Green Bay Packers. It seems that Nick is a believer in the power of socks, so he decides to go to Dick's Sporting Goods. While on his shopping trip to gets socks and seizing the opportunity to make some dick jokes along the way, something went terribly awry.

NickBarnett Am bout to go to dicks and find me some better socks lol socks are very important believe it or not lol

NickBarnett It's kinda of wired to have the name dick right? When am in a bar (which am hardly ever in ;-)) when people ask my name they often confuse

NickBarnett It with dick lol

NickBarnett RT @tke790: @NickBarnett my wifes grandfather's name is Dick Seaman - no joke.

NickBarnett My dog has ran away I can not find him :-(.. Am worried hopefully he is safe

NickBarnett I only have video of him... He was last seen east depere if you hear any info please let me know.. I feel like http://tweetreel.com/?xb2gz

NickBarnett Here was last seen in 57 around scottchwood, oldplank... Just got a call from police.. Sorry to be using Twitter for this

NickBarnett Hopefully a local news station can help

NickBarnett He's a nice dog no need to be scared of him Last seen in depere Wi, off the 57 near oldplank WI please retweet http://twitpic.com/h9i0c

And the next day:

NickBarnett I was hoping to wake up and see my dog outside.. I hope I get a call that he is ok yodayNickBarnett Just left the stadium.. On my way to post signs... I feel someone dognapped my dog

NickBarnett Well just posted 100 signs hopefully sethkng pops up... Thanks everyone for your help

NickBarnett Called humane society they are not very helpful.. They tell just come down and look

NickBarnett Well I take back what I said about humane society :-) a nice lady from green leaf found my simba... Mufasa is very happy :-) no stampede

Pshew...tragedy averted.


Murderface said...

Jesus titty-fucking Christ Twitter is boring. It's like Madame Bovary, but written by a third-grader.

Only exception: Shitmydadsays.

Erik Loomis said...

This is the most compelling thing I've ever read.

I'd think agents would tell celebrities to avoid Twitter. It allows the whole world to see how fucking stupid they are.