This is a True Story

So a sorority has asked me to give an inspirational "Last Lecture" talk. This means I am supposed to be inspirational. What kind of advice do you gentlemen suggest I give these young women? Stay away from my little brother? Don't sit in a barber chair when Michael Irvin wants a trim?


Sator Arepo said...

Why is it a "last lecture"? I don't get it.

[Ugh, everything I can think of to say is awful. (I mean: they're in college, so they're all of age, right?)]

More information might help.

Erik Loomis said...

If you were dying and wanted to give one last lecture to the world, what would you say? It came from this dude a few years ago who was dying and did this and now it's a sensation or something.

And is there any way this doesn't end us a secular version of Jonathan Edwards' "Sinners in the Hands on an Angry God"?

Sator Arepo said...

Hm. Interesting.

Seems that a talk (replete with diagrams and such) about how a base shotgun-2 TE-singleback formation is perfectly suited to attack the 3-4 defense because to match up they'll eventually have to bring a safety down into the box to stop the run and you can exploit the hole in the coverage over the middle.

Or something about Jeebus. Either way.

AnthonyS said...

Wow, that's a interesting project...
I don't envy you.

"The Dr. Loomis Guide to being a better Wife and Mother"

"How Gingko Biloba Supplements Saved my Life"

"The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth, but only after a Bunch of Asshats Turn it into a Barren, Ashen Rock Devoid of any Use".

"What to do about Morgan Freeman"

Sator Arepo said...

"I brought a Last Lecture(tm) for each of you. Good news! It's a suppository!"