Man, Oakland sort of kind of looks like they have a Defense. Too bad JaMarcus Russell...
...couldn't find a hex wrench at an IKEA.
...couldn't find a pot dealer at Burning Man.
...couldn't find a drunk dude in the Wrigley Field bleachers.
...or add your own version! Think you've got what it takes?
That's funny, because so does JaMarcus Russell (who is 11-30 for 110 yards, 2 sacks for -8, and a lost fumble as of this writing [updated 2:52 PM]).