Sweeping Daryl

Which one of these brooms should I use to sweep out Daryl? He just can't beat his big brother. I'm so in his head, it's crazy. He's lost 3 times this year. Twice to me. His team might be better, I don't know. But I do know he can't beat me. I believe he is 0-4 against me in my 2 years in this league.

It's not just fantasy either. I routinely beat the shit out of Daryl in Madden. I don't even have a video game system at home, but Daryl, despite his supposed tough blitzing defense and fullback runs, loses to me about 2 out of every 3 games. It's been this way since we were kids. It's even more pronounced now. For all Daryl practices and claims to have figured out new strategies, I still pick him to death.

Poor Daryl. Does it feel bad to have such a superior big brother? I know it was hard growing up in my shadow. It must still be hard. I feel so bad for you. Don't we all feel bad for Daryl?


Murderface said...

No, I do not.

Fuck Daryl.

Sator Arepo said...

Fullback runs are outstanding.

Sator Arepo said...

And God Bless the "Daryl Sucks A Dick" tag.

Also: intimating that Daryl is "hard" is a bad idea. Eww.

Erik Loomis said...

Daryl gets hard whenever big brother is in town. I'm not his big brother just in age you know.