2009-08-30

For the Crackers, For Upcoming First Game of Foot Balls

Liebste Herr Cracker,

Anfangs waren wir verwirrt: Capes? Städte? Crackers? Welchen Sinn hat das?

[At first we were confused: Capes? Cities? Crackers? What sense does it?]




Ein wenig Recherche erste war erforderlich.

[A little research first was necessary. ]

Nun ist es klar: Sie sind mit der Collage-machen, ja? Wie alt Dadaisten. Das ist gut: dieses gestorbenen dekorative entartete Kunst ist keine Bedrohung mehr für uns.

[Now it is clear that you are familiar with the collage, yes? How old Dadaists. That's good: this defunct degenerate decorative art is no longer a threat to us.]

Bitte, das ist in Ordnung. Fahren Sie mit diesem Nebeneinander von unabhängigen dumme Dinge. Ihre Kunst durcheinander sicher spiegeln eine Schlamperei des Geistes. Bald werden Sie als Anhang beigefügt werden, und aus reinem.

[Please, this is in order. Take this juxtaposition of unrelated stupid things. Your art certainly reflect a sloppy mess of the mind. Soon you will be annexed, and pure.]

Herr S. Arepo
Austin Anschluß

6 comments:

Crackers said...

Oh, silly German persons. Have our cultural forebears already forgotten so much? Your defunct racist political model was the inspiration for our defunct racist political model. Be not ashamed of your hideous and reprehensible past. Wait, yes, do be ashamed of it.

But whereas you have become just another pretty Western European democratic face, we have hung in there in all our ousted thuggery.

But no more! We now see that we based our beloved apartheid on the wrong criterion. Race is not the correct basis of a proper division. There are many better foundations on which to build a pure and lasting oppression.

In your case, O' Austin,we separate you on the basis of your effete faux-liberal posturing. You are a city of whining poseurs, quick to find fault in those for whom the daily struggle of life does not allow the luxury of eco-blogs and reggae shows (I totally just made up eco-blogs, but it sounds like a thing). You remove your lips from the teats of your trust funds just long enough to bray at your betters. You are likened unto a city of sheep who look with derision upon those who must dwell among the wolves and bear the scars of the world. In your bubble of veggie burritos and awful college bands you laugh at danger because you never face it. Try being an ethnic minority on a strange continent living under the auspicies of a people you treated as virtual slaves for generations. Also there's sharks and wine and, uh, other South Africa-y stuff.

So woe unto you, Central Texas German types! You shall soon be crushed under the mighty heel of erstwhile Dutch colonialism. Fie!

Da Crackers

Sator Arepo said...

Endlich eine Antwort, die wir bekommen. Wir begannen zu fürchten, die Sie nicht verstehen diese Internets, ja? Die beschädigten Niederländisch Zunge nicht leicht verstehen, den deutschen Geist, denken wir.

[Finally, a response we get. We began to fear that you do not even understand the Internet? Understanding the Dutch tongue is not easily damaged, the German spirit, we think.]

Ich denke, über diese Dinge, von denen Sie sprechen. Vielleicht Austin war nicht die meisten deutschen Ort, um den Kauf eines Teams in albernen amerikanischen Fuß Kugeln Liga. Ach, die Fredricksburg hat keine eigene Mannschaft noch nicht, vielleicht bald kommenden geschehen ist, denken wir.

[I think about these things of which you speak. Maybe Austin was not the most German city in order to purchase a team in silly American Foot ball League. Ah, the Fredricksburg not have a team yet, perhaps soon to happen next is, we think.]

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